State of Mind
by Shmeeko
Summary: There was something bothersome about the way she was acting…It was unnerving. She rarely spoke, her smiles just as rare; far smaller than they ever were. It was so very unlike her…And so very like me. Natsume x Mikan. R&R Please.
1. Depression

**Well Hullo there! This is my first Gakuen Alice story :) I did it 'cause I just finished reading the Manga/watching the Anime. I find Natsume adorable and was eager to try my hand at him :3 Let me know what you think! This is supposed to be a oneshot, but If you'd like me to continue off of this, just let me know.**

**-- By the way, the timesetting in this is a little different. It takes place after the Luna event, but It's sort of attached on the ending of the Anime with Hotaru transferring to a new school. So Uhm, work with that, will you :D**

**Update! Lawl, it's one thirty in the morn' and I'm bored out of my mind, so I came back and fixed some issues. - So yerr, have an edited version! I fixed some stuff that was bothering me and read your reveiws. I didn't know everyone would like it this much, maybe I will write another! :D**

* * *

There was something bothersome about the way she was acting…It was unnerving. She rarely spoke, her smiles just as rare; far smaller than they ever were. Her eyes had this strange, far-away look and often had to be called more than once before she responded. It was so very unlike her…And so very like me.

I assumed it had something to do with Hotaru having transferred. After everything the two of them had been through. Even if she said it wouldn't be forever…She packed up her things and left. She had promised Hotaru she wouldn't follow…wouldn't bother her anymore. But that seemed to be eating her alive from the inside out. It was painful to watch.

Everyday, she would come into class and take her usual seat beside me. She would rest her head on her hands, elbows propped up on the desk and stare. She would stare absently out the window to her left. No matter what the class was doing, whether it was actually working or just goofing off, she would stare. Her grades were dropping, but I figured that was the least of anyone's worries.

"Natsume…" I flicked my gaze to the right. Ruka stared at her with a confused and concerned face. His expression showed all the concern needed for both of us. I grunted and turned my head slightly to look at her. Her head was on the desk now, but I didn't believe she was sleeping.

She didn't even flinch at my crimson gaze boring into the back of her head. She always seemed to know when I was staring at her, but if she knew this time she was ignoring me. That was even more unlike her. It was beginning to become annoying.

Ruka and I were not the only ones who noticed. There was not a kid in Class B that did not adore Mikan for her happy nature and spirited passion. It seemed every student in our class had noticed her change. For once, every student in the class was quietly working on something or other. There was no teacher in the room. Narumi was elsewhere.

There were few whispers that echoed around the room. Most were simply exchanging information or asking for help. There were a few though…a few that questioned where their class's spark had gone. They all blamed Mikan.

It was not an angered blame, but a sympathetic one. No one could seem to bring themselves to be happy during her depression. As I carefully watched the class whisper to one another about school and life, I couldn't tear my mind away from the girl who seemed to emanate depression from her very being. It disgusted me to admit to even myself, I was scared for her.

She was no longer the chirpy, loud and dim-witted girl who smiled despite every troublesome event or bad thing that would hit her. It was that smile that captivated me the way it did. She was able to smile all the time, no matter what the circumstance. If you asked her to smile, she would. But it seemed her will to keep smiling had left with Hotaru.

But she was not without support. Her friends had been doing all they could to get her to smile once again, not the tiny smile she graced everyone with at being greeted or spoken to. The wide, childish smile she always had with her was the one they sought. Tsubasa was no exception. Some days, he constantly poked or prodded his kouhai in attempt to make her laugh. Other days he simply sat beside her, occasionally providing a much-needed hug or shoulder to lean on when she seemed a little more depressed than usual.

He shooed away those who poked their noses into her business, nagging her to cheer up or tell them what was wrong. While he and her closest friends were more than alright to do that, others without that bond with Mikan were told to just leave her be. Tsubasa was something of her emotional and physical bodyguard, a make-shift big brother in nearly every way.

Her closest friends, like Tsubasa, never gave up on her. They constantly reassured her when she had doubts, took her to places she adored and helped her with her schoolwork. But they could only do so much for her…

* * *

Winter rolled around eventually, Mikan was no better. She smiled more often, but it was that hollow smile she used. While her friends weren't exactly satisfied with this small change, they were at least relieved she was making any change at all.

"I guess…She'll get better over time" Ruka constantly reminded me. His words may have been reassuring, but there was more doubt in his face than I had ever seen before. It was beginning to terrify me. Her depression had affected nearly all of Class B, her friends especially. She didn't seem to notice what she was doing to everyone around her. Not only did it terrify me, but it enraged me just the same.

How could she be so blind to the mental damage she was causing herself and others? Did Hotaru's departure really pain her this much? The Mikan I knew would not let this get to her, so what else was bothering her. I wanted to find out for myself, but that would take careful timing.

"Oi, Ruka-Pyon, Natsume-kun!" Both Ruka and I turned at the sound of our names. We had been walking in silence down one of the snow-covered paths of the Academy. The silence had been broken by the Permy girl.

"Hmm?" Ruka was the first to turn completely and address the girl, though I remained facing forwards. "Sum ire-san?"

"We're going down to Central City for the day, why don't you come?" Ah, something of a hopeful date, I guessed. Did she never learn?

"I-I don't know, It's up to Natsume" I sighed inwardly. This was one of the times where I would've preferred Ruka make the decision. As he looked towards me for support, I kept my gaze firmly ahead of me. "What's the occasion?" He asked instead.

"Well, let's see…" The girl shifted her weight to one foot and lifted her gaze upwards in thought. "We're taking Iincho, Kokoro, Yo-chan," Upon the kid's name, I narrowed my eyes. He wasn't usually one to go with a crowd like that…Unless… "...Kitsuneme, Mikan-Chan and Tsubasa-kun and going down shopping for the day in Central city. You know, just for a day of fun. Tsubasa suggested we invite you two as well." I narrowed my eyes further. Ruka's eyes widened as we both registered the same name at once. He turned to me.

"Fine." I said. Ruka nodded at my brisk response and turned back to the Permy girl, smiling somewhat.

"We'll go."

oooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooO

The bus was noisy and hectic. But I didn't really notice it. I sat near the back, one foot propped up on the seat, hands behind my head as I gazed out the window. Snow covered trees flew by as the bus zoomed down to Central city. I allowed my gaze to wonder over the sea of heads until I spotted her.

She was sitting at the front, Tsubasa faithfully at her side. It surprised me to see she didn't have her hair up in those pigtails as she usually did. She leaned against the bus window and watched the streets as we drove. Tsubasa was joking with some girl across from her, but would occasionally flick a worried gaze to his Kouhai. He caught me staring and smirked somewhat, I narrowed my eyes in response and resumed staring out the window.

"Everyone off!" The bus came to an abrupt halt. I sat up straight. We weren't at the bus stop yet, had someone pulled some sort of trick and angered the driver?

"But this isn't Central town" Tsubasa pointed out, some kids behind him murmured in agreement.

"The snow and Ice up ahead is too much for the bus to handle. It's about a five minute walk, so suck it up and get going!" There was a chorus of groans, but everyone filtered off the bus and into the snow.

oooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooO

"Wow, the preparations for the winter festival are coming along nicely" Iincho raised his voice so the entire group could hear. Central town was preparing for it own fifth annual Winter Festival. Not that I cared, but information like that was useful to know. I walked in the very back, alongside Ruka. The cold didn't bother me, but Ruka was shivering and holding his faithful rabbit close. I scoffed

"Where should we go first?" We all stopped as the Permy girl spoke. She opened her arms and spun in a circle, indicating all the places she could direct the group. Something sparked in Permy's eyes. "I know! Why don't we go get some Howalon?" It was no secret that Permy was trying to cheer Mikan up, but it didn't seem to work.

"Yeah!" Kokoro brightened at the Idea, most likely hoping to aid Permy in her quest to cheer. He ran towards the store, grabbing Mikan as he ran by. Her eyes widened in alarm, and Tsubasa was instantly on the alert.

"Hey, Kokoro, Do-" Tsubasa cut himself off as Kokoro froze in his tracks, looking back to the girl in tow with a shocked expression. She had said something, but she had said it far too quietly for anyone to really distinguish what she'd said. The entire group fell silent, waiting for her voice to return, to repeat what she said. Mikan pulled her hand away from the boy and took a step back, making a polite little bow.

"I'm sorry, everyone." She said quietly. "I'm going to go on a walk." With that, she turned and left. She was hunched over as if she was cold, but the way she'd quickly turned had shown she didn't want to be followed. But as Iincho moved to comfort his friend Tsubasa grabbed his shoulder

"I think we should just leave her be for a while." He said, his voice carrying a commanding undertone. But I'm sure he must've realized by now…I do not follow orders well.

* * *

She was trudging through the snow in one of the back paths of the town. Her head was low and her hands rubbed up and down her jacketed arms. It wasn't that cold out today, but I suppose it must've felt rather cold to her. I narrowed my eyes as I watched her slowly walk along the snowy path. She didn't notice me above her, in the trees.

I followed her for a while, until I was able to confirm the route she was taking was in the areas of Central town that were occupied by more vegetation that others, taking her in a big circle along these points. I was tempted to confront her, but I was aware that I had to act carefully if I didn't want to be shut out, as everyone else had.

I waited until she was directly below me and then dropped in front of her. There was little more than a centimeter of space between us when I dropped, causing her to step back in surprise. The Mikan I knew would've screamed and proceeded to yell at me about being a stalker or something. But this Mikan only stepped back to get me out of her 'space bubble' and stood, eyes wide.

"Oh, hello Natsume" She said quietly. I narrowed my eyes, somewhat disgusted with the way she was acting. I stepped forward and brought my face close to hers. She didn't even flinch, but simply stared blankly ahead as If I did nothing.

"Why?" I asked, stuffing my hands in my coat pockets. She only lifted her head and stared at me with those wide, questioning eyes.

"I don't understand…" She said, frowning some more. My eyes narrowed further.

"Don't lie. You know what I'm talking about. What's bothering you?" The girl lowered her head at my more specific questions. She turned around, ready to walk off in that direction.

"Bothering me? I don't under-"

"Stop it, Mikan." I said in all seriousness. She didn't move. "Have you not noticed what you're doing?" She turned her head slightly to look back at me.

"What I'm doing…?"

"Your friends. Your Senpai. They're all being affected by your constant moping. You drag yourself around the academy, you've stopped smiling and you rarely speak to anyone but Tsubasa. Are you so selfish as to have not realized what that's doing to everyone?" Her eyes fell to the snow below. She didn't respond, so I pressed on. "Is this all because of Hotaru? Just because she left? What happened to the speech about not following her around and being strong? Where did you go?" That last comment slipped out unintentionally. But I didn't let it phase me. I simply stared at her through narrowed eyes. She turned slowly.

"…Where did I go?" She echoed.

"Where is the Mikan everyone loves?" I said quietly "The one who smiles? Is this really all about Hotar-"

"No." She cut me off, something she used to do all the time "It's not about Hotaru."

"Then what?"

"It's about you!" She said suddenly, her voice a lot stronger now. There were tears beginning to form in her eyes. It was my turn to take a step back. "I mean, sure, Hotaru left and I was sad about that, but I meant what I said!" She swung her arm out at me, surprising me further. I backed away to avoid being hit. The anger in her eyes was unmistakable, despite the tears there.

"I promised Hotaru I wouldn't follow her, would keep smiling, and I was ready to do that!" She said fiercely, "But then, after she left…" She lowered her head "I admit, I was feeling a little sad…And there was one person I really wanted to talk to…He just never got the hint." She said. My eyes widened, showing my unease, but she continued

"You cut yourself off from me and it got worse…" Her hands clenched into fists. "I was so confused about you and about Ruka, I hurt so much and I wasn't sure what to do. Usually when I get like that, some sort of alarm goes off with you and you find some way to make it better…But...But you didn't..." She sounded almost longing. "Hotaru knew about it... About Ruka, about you and about how I felt…Now...Now she isn't here for me to go to for advice and she's no good at responding to my letters…I couldn't talk to Hotaru…I couldn't talk to you…" She looked at me and suddenly lunged forward, attempting to slap me across the face.

Instantly on alert, I reached up and caught her hand before she could strike me. "I wasn't sure about what to do anymore…I didn't want anyone to worry about me…" I held onto her wrist tightly, incase she tried to hit me again when I let go. "…So I did what you do…I cut myself off from everyone…I didn't know…I didn't know what I was doing was hurting everyone else so much…I didn't know…" The anger vanished from her eyes and her tears came fourth. I let go of her wrist as she dropped to her knees. "I didn't know…I didn't know…" She buried her head in her hands and sobbed.

I stared down at the crying girl, still processing everything she had said. I didn't know…She repeated it over and over out loud, and I was repeating it in my head. I didn't know I'd influenced her that much…I believed it was partially my fault she was changing…Maybe I'd hoped that in cutting_ myself_ of from _her_…I didn't know it would have the completely opposite effect. And now, this sobbing heap of depression was at my feet, repeating those three words over and over again.

I got down on one knee and grabbed the girl's shoulders, bringing her close and drawing her into a hug. I held her tightly, as if she may disappear at my touch…that was the last thing I wanted. She attempted to push me away and tried to beat her fists against my chest. I refused to let go, however, and eventually she gave up and just sobbed.

"Hey, Polka-dotted panties girl…" I said slowly. "Stop crying." She pushed away from me again, and this time I let her. She looked questionably up at my face, eyes wide and watering. "I'm sorry." Once again, she flew into my arms and held onto me as tightly as she could.

We sat on a park bench and talked for the remainder of the day. She did most of the talking, but I was glad for that. Little by little, with each passing hour, she seemed to returning to normal. She would occasionally laugh at her own stupidity, and babble about how she'd felt and the things she'd thought about. I let her talk; I figured this was what she needed. As I watched her talk, I could feel a small smile growing on me.

* * *

By the time the sun started setting, she'd drifted off to sleep. That much crying and talking and laughing had completely worn her out. She nestled herself unconsciously into my arm, hugging it tightly and using my shoulder as a pillow. I was glad she'd returned to normal.

I did my best to lift her off the bench without waking her. She was unnerving me again, looking so innocent, asleep in my arms. I sighed, beginning the long trek back to the dormitories. I don't think she would've wanted to take the bus.

"So, this is where you ran off to." I turned my head as Tsubasa moved out of the shadows of a tree. There was a mischievous smile on his face. I narrowed my eyes, simply by nature. "I figured you'd go off to find her. You're not as heartless as everyone thinks you are, are ya?" He winked at me and pulled Mikan from my arms. I was tempted to hold on, to not let her leave my grasp. But I let he older boy pick her up in his arms. As she snuggled into Tsubasa, burying her face in his shoulder, I sighed and buried my hands in my pockets. "Thanks kid." He said

"Whatever." I turned and walked away from the two, leaving the restored Mikan to her Shadow. It was painful to know what small odds there were of anything ever happening between us. There was always Tsubasa there for her…And Ruka…Ruka was so much nicer than I. And I couldn't change myself like that. Even Iincho, the Class Representative, was more of a friend to her than I was.

I walked alone, my head bent as I watched the snow beneath my feet. The town was quiet, as all the students had returned to thier dorms by then, I felt completely and utterly alone. I changed my path with thoughts to take a shortcut back. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Persona's voice rang out through the empty field I was cutting across.

"Natsume…" The dark man began to walk towards me, from where he'd come from I wasn't sure. As usual, his eyes were hidden behind that trademark mask. As he neared, the last fragments of sunlight illuminated his face, making his smug grin apparent. I knew that expression; it demanded obedience. It demanded submission. I was in no state of mind to resist him then. I simply turned towards him, returning his look with an empty stare.

_"You have work to do…"_


	2. Recovery

**Here is is, by popular demand. I'm glad you all liked this so much. So I'll make a deal with my readers. You keep reveiwing with anything, comments, questions, tips etc. And I'll keep writing. Simple, eh? You stop reveiwing, I'll stop writing. This isn't a plot to motivate you to reveiw, it's a plot to motivate me to write. When I see my fic getting such great reveiws, I feel the urge to write more. I need motivation and encouragement, otherwise I stop writing. So thank you all for your support, here is the chapter you asked for.**

**I've only profread about halfway into the fic, so if you find any major faults that bother you, let me know and I'll fix them when I go over it again in about a day or so. **

**So yes. You reveiw and you'll see another chapter. Thank you for all the support, It's very appreciated. I'll write individual replies to my reveiwers next chapter, 'cause I love you all that much**

* * *

She was getting better. Slowly, bit by bit, the spark returned to her eyes and the smile returned to her face. It was somewhat satisfying to watch, for she'd no longer simply sit and gaze sadly out the window. There was the odd time she did zone out and wonder off into her own thoughts, but it was occurring less and less as time went on. Her grades were slowly rising back to their usual status, it wasn't hard to tell her friends were happy for her. The entirety of Class B had begun to cheer as well.

Her old habits had returned. She constantly whined or complained about something, then started yelling at me when I ignored her. Whenever she was presented with a challenge, she would make a big, dramatic speech about how she'd do her best for all the people she loved in her life. Hotaru, Grandpa, Iincho and a few others were on the list she constantly referred to. It was annoying, yes, but it was expected of Mikan. She was acting more like herself than she had in months. She still went on about how much I confused her, but that I could learn to cope with.

However, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was still wrong. As much as she recovered, I could still see it. There was a foreshadowing in her large brown eyes of something bad to come. I couldn't tell what it was and couldn't bring myself to ask. More than once I'd seen a strange, knowing look flash in her eyes. I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was keeping me on edge. I kept expecting something to explode into tiny fragments or some evil villain to drop down and make off with her and her polka-dotted panties. Needless to say, nothing like that happened.

One particular day I sat alone under a bare Sakura tree. I blocked out the sun with the thick pages of my favourite comic book. My hands were folded behind my head and serving as a make-shift pillow. I was enjoying the silence, which would occasionally be broken by the far off laugh or the crunch of snow flying into a solid object. I didn't mind it so much. I knew only too well how hard true silence was to come by.

"Natsume-kun!" I heard my name shouted loudly across the academy. I sighed and plucked the book off of my face, pulling myself into a sitting position and searching for the person who had called my name. Three guesses as to who it was.

"Oh, it's you." As if she was of no importance, I simply moved back into my previous position. She huffed at my greeting and put her hands on her hips.

"Don't 'Oh it's you' me! What're you doing off on your own?" I raised an eyebrow at her question. I rarely was found around anyone other that Ruka. Even though there was the rare occasion I was accompanied by others, it wasn't often. Besides, this was definitely not the first time I'd gone out of my way to remove myself from the presence of others. Had she forgotten who I was?

"I'm alone 'cause I want to be." I said dismissively, hoping she would leave me to my silence. Unfortunately, using a dismissive tone never worked with her.

"Okay..Well listen to this," Before she'd finished her sentence, I'd pulled the comic book back over my face. I heard the stomp of a foot and then was nearly deafened by her yell.

"Natsume! When someone tells you to listen you don't go and cover your face with a book!" The comic book was pulled off my face and I grunted in protest. "That's rude!" The girl whipped the book back at me and it hit me solidly on my chest. I sat up, causing the book to slide to the ground, and simply stared at her. Her angry face instantly vanished and she rushed to apologize. I simply held my hand up to silence her.

"I'm listening." I said. She then took off into a drawl of words. I stopped paying attention after a few seconds. I was observing the change of her expression as she spoke and the light that'd returned to her eyes. I could feel myself smiling somewhat, but she didn't notice. I was happy for her and how she'd changed. She was just like she used to be, loud dimwitted and extremely optimistic.

"So?" She said, obviously expecting a response. After an awkward silence, I realized I hadn't heard a word she'd said. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts about her recovery I hadn't been paying attention to whatever it was she wanted me to listen to in the first place.

"Natsume! You didn't hear a word did you?" Well, perhaps she wasn't as dim-witted as I'd written her off to be.

"No…" She sighed and sat down in front of me, as if that would somehow help me to pay attention. She spoke slowly.

"Most of Class B is coming with me to the Winter Festival in Central Town. Originally it was supposed to be just me and Ruka-pyon, but people found out we were planning to go and invited themselves!" She smiled at me and the blank stare I returned her. They were originally going together? Mikan and Ruka? I instantly attempted to shoot down the feeling of jealousy that was rising inside me. "So I thought since everyone else was going, maybe you'd want to come too?"

She gave me a hopeful smile, as if she actually wanted me to come. Well, telling her no would bring interesting results. She might yell at me for being rude and solitary, or she may simply lose her spark and accept defeat. If it was any other time, maybe I would refuse her offer. But I knew how fragile her change for better was. I didn't want to shatter what she'd been working so hard to do, especially if she'd sink back into that utter feeling of depression she'd had.

"Whatever." I said, leaning back once again. She gave me a funny look.

"Whatever as in 'you don't care' or whatever as in 'you'll be there?'" She asked, leaning forward in anticipation. I ridiculed at how childish she looked.

"Sure." She furrowed her eyebrows at my response. It was somewhat entertaining to see her attempt to decipher the way I spoke.

"So you'll come?"

"Yeah." She stood up at my neutral reply and grinned. She jumped into the air as if to prove to me she really was as excited as she sounded.

"Great, Natsume-kun!" She exclaimed. "The bus is coming to get us at 9:00 tomorrow, so don't be late!" She skipped off towards the main building, off to do god knows what. I simply watched her skip away and prepared to settle back down into my comfortable spot.

Almost as soon as she was out of earshot and as if he'd sensed the fact that I was planning to relax, Persona stepped silently out from behind the tree to stand beside me. I grimaced and tensed visibly.

"Rise, Natsume." Persona commanded. I was hesitant, contemplating just staying where I was. Even the thought of getting as far away from the man as fast as I could sounded appealing.

"What do you want?" I demanded, pushing myself to my feet slowly. I prayed he wouldn't tell me I had more work. That was about the last thing I wanted. However, as per usual, what I wanted didn't matter to him.

"You've got more work to do." He replied coldly. He was now standing directly in front of me, frowning down at the somewhat annoyed face I regarded him with. "What? Does my Natsume-kun have something planned?" He leaned forward, bringing us face-to-face. My eyes narrowed and I tried to move back, only to be intercepted by the tree behind me. "Is it with your little Mikan friend?"

"No" I said, hoping to lead him away from the subject. "What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, Natsume. You should know better than to try to lie to me. But you should also know better than to get too close to her..." As if in warning, he brushed a few of my bangs away from my eyes, dragging his long nails lightly across my skin. I stiffened, earning a smirk from the dark man.

"Come. We will start immediately." I obediently followed, casting my gaze behind me to where Mikan excitedly shared her news with her group. I sighed and moved my gaze to the floor, following the man once again to complete a 'mission'.

* * *

"He should be here by now..."

"The driver doesn't want to wait anymore..."

"Maybe he changed his mind?"

"I didn't think he'd come anyway…"

"What about Mikan? She was so excited..."

"She'll be crushed…"

"Miss?" Mikan felt a hand on her shoulder and twisted to see who it was. The bus driver was giving her a worried look. "I can't wait any longer, there are other stops I need to make too, you know."

"I know..." She said quietly. "He might've just forgotten..." She turned back to the bus, where her friends were already aboard and waiting for her.

"Come on, Mikan! If he doesn't want to come that's his loss! Let's go!" Sumire called anxiously from the window. Mikan shook her head defiantly and turned to the driver.

"You can go now, I'll wait here for him and we'll walk there together!" She said. She then turned and called happily to the others hanging out of the bus window "We'll meet you there, everyone!" There were some murmurs of protest, but the driver climbed aboard and shut the doors. He was just happy to finally be leaving. He was obviously running late. Her friends waved to her, arms flailing about outside the windows excitedly.

"We'll see you later, Mikan-san!" Koko.

"Don't wait too long!" Iinchou

"Hit him for me!" Sumire.

"Bye, Mikan-san!" Through the chorus of goodbyes, Mikan couldn't help but to notice Ruka staring at her from the front seat, looking slightly worried. Natsume was his friend too, she remembered. The bus began to drive down the road and she waved goodbye to the departing vehicle. Just as she expected it to turn the corner and vanish from her sight, it stopped. The bus door opened and someone got off, stepping into the snow.

"Mikan!" Ruka jogged towards her as the bus started up again and drove away.

"Ruka-pyon?" The girl tilted her head as the blonde boy ran up to her, rabbit hugged firmly against his chest. "Aren't you going to Central town?" He nodded slowly, observing the small puffs of white that formed in front of him when he breathed.

"Yeah, but I'll wait with you. That way you won't have to wait alone." He gave her a small, encouraging smile and earned a wide one in return.

"Thank you, Ruka-Pyon!" She said, throwing her arms around him in a friendly hug. She didn't notice the red tint that had graced his cheeks. "Come sit with me!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bench, seemingly excited at having a friend to pass the time with.

oooooOoooooOoooooOoooooOoooooOoooooOooooo

Ten minutes later, the two were still perched on the bench. Ruka sat still, head back to stare absently up at the thin white clouds that littered the grey sky. Mikan swung her legs in a steady rhythm over the side of the bench, turning her head from side to side, eyes peeled for the boy they were waiting for.

"…I don't think he's coming" Ruka's voice was quiet, for it was the first thing either of them had said for a while. He lowered his gaze and turned to Mikan, his wide blue eyes gave away his disappointment. With a sigh of defeat, Mikan nodded slowly.

"Yeah, you're probably right…" She stood up and pulled her coat tighter around her, as if she were cold. Ruka paused a moment and glanced down the trail in hopes the fire-user would appear there, then stood as well.

"Should we start walking?" He asked while he tucked his snow-white rabbit into his coat, hoping to keep it out of the cold that way. Mikan took longer to reply than usual, her eyes on the floor. For a moment, Ruka feared she would plunge back into her depression and silently cursed Natsume's absence.

"Maybe…" She trailed off, hopefully glancing upwards. What had kept the boy so long? Whether or not he wanted to show up to an event, he was rarely late for it. Besides, Mikan had been the one to invite him and although only Ruka was aware of it, Natsume wasn't someone to leave _her_ hanging, of all people.

"Maybe we could wait a bit longer." Ruka put in, noticing how Mikan's good mood had suddenly vanished. "I'm sure he'll show up soon." He'd hoped that in convincing the girl he was confident in his friend, she would cheer up. She nodded slowly, smiling somewhat as she sat back down on the bench.

"Me too." She didn't sound certain. But at least she was trying to stay happy and stop Ruka from worrying about her. "I'm sure if you think he'll come soon, Ruka-pyon, he will. He's your best friend after all." The boy nodded in response, smiling despite how he felt inside. He was no longer sure if Natsume would show at all. He made a mental note to remind the special star student to be more punctual in the future…for Mikan's sake.

* * *

Pain. It echoed through my stiff limbs and aching muscles. It worsened at my side, making it near blinding to attempt to walk. Yet, as foolish as it may be, I was walking. Slowly, yes, but at least I was moving at all. I held my side, hoping that in some way that would dull the mind-numbing sensation that shot through my nerves.

I shouldn't have been so careless. Perhaps if my head hadn't been so clouded with Persona's threat… That threat of his to hurt Mikan if I disobeyed. I couldn't shake the feeling he would hurt her whether I obeyed or not. He'd already tried to drag Ruka into the world I had to suffer through. Would he do the same with Mikan?

I had no doubt that if she knew how hard it was for me to do Persona's tasks on my own, she would rush to help. She wouldn't be able to do much, nor would she completely understand the danger she would be putting herself in. I believe that even if she knew and understood, her decision to help would not change. She was painfully selfless when it came to matters like that.

Disregarding this concern, I focused my attention to the task at hand; getting to the bus stop. I had no doubt that the bus would be gone. Mikan was likely to have left with it, too. But I promised I would arrive at the bus stop. When I would arrive or in what condition was something entirely different.

I stumbled on a patch of ice concealed by snow, losing my balance and crashing into the ground. Waves of pain rolled over my mind. Persona had not let me into the Hospital after we'd returned this morning. He seemed to be under the impression that getting grazed by a bullet was no big deal, especially for someone who hadn't slept in 48 hours.

My hands gripped at the snow, struggling for a hold or something to help me deal with the pain. It was washing over my vision, clouding my sight with black blotches. I took a sharp breath in and held it, letting my mind wonder elsewhere; away from the pain and suffering.

I focused on the sounds, though there was very few. There was the wind, yes, pulling at my hair and jacket. Something was moving in the tree to my right. It was most likely watching me, wondering what on earth I was doing sprawled face-first in the snow. I could also hear the crunch of snow beneath boots. Footsteps.

Footsteps? I lifted my head off the fluffy white substance beneath me, feeling rather cold as I struggled to focus on the two pairs of feet in front of me. Voices, I could hear them clearly, but couldn't seem to establish what they were saying. It was rather annoying to bear. I tried to call out, but my words came out as an incomprehensible mumble.

"Shh, Natsume-kun." That voice was so familiar. I couldn't believe how hard it was to put a face to the voice at first, how had she found me? "Ruka-pyon has gone to get help." Ruka? Ah, yes. I only then noticed that the extra pair of boots had vanished, along with the person in them. I heard the snow heave as the girl knelt down beside me, placing a comforting hand on my back.

I would've pushed her away, warned her not to touch me…not to get to close. She felt so warm, or perhaps I was just so cold. I could no longer feel my bare fingers; which still gathered fistfuls of melting snow. I tried to speak, but I had no more luck than my first try.

"What happened, Natsume-kun?" I would've laughed if I wasn't in so much pain, or lacking the ability to speak. Could she not conclude that I couldn't answer, even if I wanted to? Had my nonchalant mumbles not established that? What a dumb girl. A dumb, dumb girl.

I was suddenly looking up at her face. Had she rolled me over? She must have, because I certainly didn't roll myself over. The thought required too much effort. I squinted; the pale light of the sun seemed unbearable. Her head leaned further into my vision, blocking out the light. I found my will to speak with the gratitude that came from her simple action.

"H-hey, Polka dotted pa-"

"Hush, Natsume." I was cut off, some somewhat surprised at that. She'd placed her hand over my mouth, but not to stop the nickname I'd given her, just to stop me from speaking all together. "Save your strength." She removed her hand, apparently confident I'd take her advice. I didn't. There was one thing I had to say before I'd accept my own defeat and allow myself to slip into unconsciousness. I took a breath in and shut my eyes.

_"…Thank you."_


	3. Concern

**And the winner for longest time taken to update a single, non-eventful chapter is...**

**Shmeeko! (Insane laughter/self-applause/cheering)**

**Sorry for the long wait guys, I had to fight off giant, man-eating sea monsters armed with nothing but a spork and a styrofoam plate while stranded on a remote desert island in the middle of nowhere! Yeah. That's it.**

**Actually, the man-eating monsters were fits of writer's block. The spork and styrofoam plate were real though, contrast to the remote desert island. Seriosuly, I can't apologize enough for the long wait; but expect more. If you like this story enough to keep reading it, I'd recommend you alert it, as I'm very unpredictable with my updates. I could update again in the next week, I might update again in the next month. WHO KNOWS? I sure don't. :x**

**I promised I'd publically reply to each reveiw, but I lied :D Sorry. but 15 reveiws is a lot for someone with a short-attention span to reply to. So I'm just gonna bring up the few that stick out in my mind...Or the many, whatever works.**

**TO ALL YOU FANTASTIC PEOPLE WITH POSITIVE REVEIWS (And that's most of ya ;D): Thank you, the support is really apprieciated. I'll often go back and re-read them when I'm in a writer's pickle, they help a lot. Keep them coming, too, and I'll keep my promise of uploading...more...often. Yeah!**

**TO YOU CRITIQUES: What's this? There doesn't seem to be any! GOODNESS, DIDJA'LL GET HIT BY TRAINS OR SOMETHING? If you see something that's beyond a typo, go ahead and point it out! I love grammatical critique, especially those that are well-thought out and backed with examples. My life svaings (Ten bucks!) says I'll likely use your grammatical suggestion in the next chapter.**

**TO THAT ONE GUY WHO SAID MY STORY LACKED PLOT: Sorry dude, ;D But it was a ONESHOT. Oneshots usually don't have much plot, whatever plot they do have is overcome in the first chapter. (Thus the reason it's called a ONEshot.) But this has been urged into something of a story, so the plot isn't expected to develop until the 3-4th chatper. The second is reserved for the aftermath. There you go, a little writer's lesson there.**

**OBSERVANT FOLKS: Yes, that means we have the beginnings of a plot in this chapter! Muahahaha. Go see if you can figure out what it is without the second half (chapter four) to completely point it out. Take any guesses or ask any questions that might pop into your head, I'll try to answer them next chapter, kay? Kay. Thanks you guys, I love all...whateveramountthereis of you! (Insert heart here.)**

**Time to go fend off the sea-monsters with my sword-spork and styrofoam plate-sheild. Wish me luck!**

* * *

_'With eyes closed tightly_

_I march so blindly_

_Pretending everything's fine _

_'cause you're there to keep me in line._

_I don't want your guidance._

_I'll break my silence_

_So sick of asking and being denied _

_And now I realise...'_

_**Born to lead** - **Hoobastank**_

* * *

_"_Once again, I found myself avoiding the crowds. Children from all classes chased each other about in the snow, picking up snowballs by whatever means possible and lobbing them at friends and rivals. The peal of laughter and happy shouts drowned out any natural sound in the area. It was somewhat revolting to me. I liked the natural sounds of the world; accompanied with a human silence. It was relaxing to me, allowed me to ignore what a messed up life I lead. Between working for Persona and protecting my closest friends from him as well as keeping up with classes to avoid punishment from the wretched man, I rarely had any time to myself.

I'd managed to find a relatively quiet place behind the dormitories. I sat cross-legged on a lone bench by the forest trail, eyes on the comic book that lay open on my lap. I wasn't really reading it, but was more so 'dozing off with my eyes open.' My mind was so jumbled up with things I couldn't work out. First off, Persona was giving me something of a vacation. Apparently he'd come too close to losing me in the last mission...closer than he'd thought. Naturally, the 'great' Persona wouldn't want to lose his most 'favoured' student. I gagged inwardly. He cared more about the work I do and my ability to do it than my good health. If my good health eventually lead to whether or not I'd do an 'acceptable' job, then I would be given time to recover. This was one of those times.

My previous mission had not gone uninterrupted. Anti-Alice cronies showed up in order to prevent us from eliminating another of their warehouses. Apparently, they were developing some sort of machine that could nullify Alices. This didn't sit well with the heads of the school, so a team was dispatched to eliminate the threat. This team consisted of one person. Me. In my attack I'd been shot twice, apparently. One bullet had pierced a lung and another had shattered my kneecap, but thanks to several variants of healing Alices; given a week or two away from danger or exerting activities (like dodging bullets or lighting trained soldiers on fire) I would be back to my physically healthy self. Ironically, I didn't really want to get better.

If remaining physically impaired in breathing and unable to walk too far too fast meant not having to go on continuous, excruciating missions to ruthlessly kill or destroy; I'd gladly jump in front of a bus. Unfortunately; if I didn't get better, or tried to damage myself further, I was near certain Persona would target Ruka or Mikan simply to get his point across. If I didn't do my work; they would. I could not, would not, allow them to endure the same torture I did. So, as always, I'd abide by the doctor's orders to take it relatively easy until I was perfectly fine.

"Natsume-kun!" Goodness, even the very thought of her seemed to call her here. It was like some strange summoning ritual with her. Should you mention her name and she hunts you down, no matter where she is. Of course, I was exaggerating, but the thought entertained me for about two seconds. Then I really began to loathe her inexplicable adoration of me. I lifted my head and sure enough, my crimson eyes met her large cheery brown ones. I instinctively narrowed mine, only to see her smile widen further. "You're awake!"

"Of course I am, you stupid girl." I replied, almost as coldly as the snow that blanketed the ground. "Why would I be asleep on a park bench?" She didn't seem to be all too phased at my title for her, and merely regarded me with that wide smile of hers.

"Well, you were over here with your head down and you weren't moving, so I thought maybe you'd fallen asleep." She stood straight, after leaning down to my level, her eyes widened suddenly. "And I'm not stupid!" I couldn't help but to chuckle inwardly at her slowness. Well, that's why she didn't seem so offended by the name. She didn't even notice I'd called her by it. I shut the open book on my lap and fixed my gaze onto her happy smile.

"What do you want?" Straight to the point as always, she didn't seem to mind my brash attitude. It saved us both a lot of awkward small talk. Besides, she had to have a reason for seeking me out. I hadn't been the most sociable of people as of late. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that my right lung was not working as efficiently as usual and winter air proved to be painfully thin, as usual. My already frigid attitude had not been bettered by these factors. Quite the opposite, honestly.

"Well, I was just checking up on you to see if you were okay." Typical. Why hadn't I expected this? Looking back, I should've climbed a roof somewhere or taken up the art of camouflage. Maybe then I'd escape her over-caring nature. "And...Well." She shuffled her feet in the snow, lowering her gaze shyly to her boots. I had to fight off the impulse to roll my eyes. "...You did miss the bus the other day when I invited you..." Well thank you, captain obvious. I truly was in a despicable mood. The corners of my mouth turned downwards in a frown. "...We were supposed to go to the winter festival together, so I was wondering if...if you're feeling up to it...you would want to go with me tomorrow?"

I sighed, rather loudly so she would hear it clearly and have no excuse to act clueless. Most of my mind wanted to refuse, to yell at her to go away and leave me alone; to hurt her feelings so she would never turn around and run to me again. It was better for her that way; she wouldn't be placed in danger by Persona's twisted sense of an 'even trade'; a 'one soldier for another' type of deal. If she hated me, I could learn to hate her too. She'd be safer that way, wouldn't she?

But yet, there was the smaller part of my mind, which happened to be foolishly selfish. It was that part that wanted what was best for me, not for others. That part wanted to go and keep building on the shaky friendship we had that she was aiming to strengthen. Unfortunately for my common sense, the more self-aligned part of my mind was winning the fight for what choice to make. I sighed again, making my words sound as forced as I could.

"Fine. But after this, you have to promise to leave me alone."

"Ieee! It's a promise, Natsume-kun!" I cringed as she squealed gleefully, she began to skip away, humming a happy tune after saying a quick 'See you tomorrow, Natsume-kun'. She wouldn't keep her promise, I was sure of it. She froze a few paces away, pivoting in the snow to call back to me.

"Oh, you won't mind if Ruka-pyon comes along as well, will you?" I blinked. Ruka again? Hadn't she been complaining about being unable to decide between the two of us? It was almost as if she'd completely forgotten what state her indecisiveness had put her in before. I sighed, nodding my head slowly as she resumed her happy skip and cheerful hum, carrying on along the path with a large smile I didn't need to see to know that it was present. I cringed inwardly, once again I'd let the selfish side of me take over. I only had to pray Persona wouldn't notice the strange unavoidable attachment I had to her. After all, he _was_ supposed to be keeping his distance from me for the next little while.

* * *

I stood at the bus stop, head low with hands kept warm in my pockets. I was early, and by at least fifteen minutes. If I was late again, Mikan would likely decide to ignore me for the next few weeks. I wasn't too upset about that possibility; it was more the chance that instead she'd decide to yell at me wherever she might see me after missing her second invitation to this silly event that worried me. Her constant yelling or protests would get annoying and seeing as I still have to sit beside her, I'd probably end up worse off mentally then I already was physically. She had that kind of effect on me. The quiet side she was so determined to get over scared me to a point where I wanted to hate her. The louder, more 'Mikan' side annoyed me to the point where I wanted to duct-tape her mouth shut.

"Natsume?" I turned my head to see who had called my name. I certainly hadn't heard anyone approach, but then again I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts and scheming ways to silence that chattering tongue of Mikan Sakura. I made a mental note to stop my habit of zoning out into my own thoughts. Persona seemed to enjoy sneaking up on me during those times, jolting me out of my thoughts by harshly calling my name. I was rather relieved to hear that this particular voice wasn't harsh, in fact, it was rather familiar.

"Ruka." I greeted the blonde-haired boy evenly and without an actual greeting. He'd known me long enough to establish that greeting people in a friendly way really wasn't my style. Then again, I didn't really believe I actually had a style. I'd been described as unpredictable by many. Ruka was giving me a curious stare. "...Why are you looking at me like that?" He blinked, flicking his gaze to one side before returning it to me. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I..." Already, I knew something was wrong with my friend. Ruka was painfully quiet sometimes, but he was never usually hesitant. "...Are you alright?" I had the suspicion that he'd changed what was originally on his mind. I didn't bother him about it, however, he'd tell me on his own time. I turned away from him, facing the direction in which the bus was expected to arrive from.

"I'm fine." There was the traditional sound of snow under boots that told me Ruka was moving over to the bench. When I was sure he'd taken a seat, I turned back towards him. He was staring at the ground, perched in a nervous-looking way on the edge of the bench. He was completely still. I then noticed he had decided not to bring the white rabbit he usually held in his arms. Perhaps the cold had been too much for the albino creature to bear. I wasn't so mentally alarmed at the fact he was lacking in a small furry friend, more so the apparent unease he was doing a terrible job at hiding. I paced over to the bench and took a seat beside him. "Are you?"

"'What?" My question was answered with one of his own. Apparently, my spaced out replies didn't seem to register to his obviously distraught mind. I decided to repeat myself, simply to make it clear to my comrade what it was I'd said.

"I'm fine." I kept my gaze solidly fixed on the blonde, who was still hunched over and staring at the ground. "Are you?" At this, he finally understood what I'd meant the first time I'd spoken. He lifted his head and seemingly glanced to me through the corner of his eyes. He shrugged. Again.

"I guess so." That didn't sound too certain to me. It also told me (despite the fact that it was clear he wasn't alright in the first place,) that something was bothering him. I was rather determined to find out what that something was as we still had several minutes until Mikan was expected to arrive.

"So why do you seem upset?" I propped one foot up on the bench, folding my arms over my knee and gazing straight ahead. I was still actively involved in this conversation; after all I seemed to be the one driving it, even if I wasn't actually looking at the other boy.

"I'm worried about Mikan." I was glad for Ruka's honesty. It was bothersome when someone avoided answering a direct question. They would try and change the subject or give some weak-minded response while continuing to deny having anything wrong with them at all. Ruka knew me well enough to know not to do that around me, as I was sure he was aware of how I felt about people who answered in that fashion.

"What about?" I questioned idly, attempting to remain nonchalant. We were both aware that we both had feelings for the young girl. It was an interesting and confusing triangle, one I would've preferred to avoid. Mikan seemed to adore Ruka as a close friend, while the feelings she had for me were strange, almost indescribable. Ruka and I were both under the impression that it wasn't quite friendship she felt, but it was nothing even remotely close to hatred. I knew Ruka still crushed over the chirpy young brunette, blushing whenever she would grab his hand or give him an impulsive hug. He didn't have the bravery to say this to her, however, but I really wasn't one to talk.

Personally, I was not sure how I felt about the girl. I knew something was there, I just wasn't sure what. I wanted to hate her and her to hate me. I really did. That way, she wouldn't be hurt because of me, she wouldn't do stupid things in attempt to save me and she wouldn't be driven into uncharacteristic depressions because of me. More importantly, Persona would not be consistently threatening to pull her into the dangerous world I endure. Yet despite this desire for mutual hatred, I knew I could likely never manage that. She'd changed me along with most of the Academy in a positive way. It was frightening to admit even to myself in the safety of my mind (assuming the mind reader wasn't about,) but I almost _loved_ her for it.

"I...She..." He turned slightly, facing me completely. Even if I wasn't looking directly at him, I knew something was not quite right about the 'I' or the 'She' he'd mentioned. I didn't move. "I know Mikan's been getting better recently and it's great, really." I raised an eyebrow, turning my head ever so slightly.

"...But?"

"But something still seems off with her. She tells me she hasn't been getting a lot of sleep, but with the way she acts it's hard to tell...She keeps talking about Nightmares, but never going into details..." He fell silent here, and by the way he'd trailed off I could tell there was something he was leaving out. I didn't question this choice however, if it was all that important, he would tell me. I was sure of it. "I'm just worried about her, Natsume. She's not the kind of person to get depressed, or even be really sad for more than a day or so. It was scary to see her go through that; she doesn't need to do it again." I didn't need to voice the fact that I too had felt the strange foreboding feeling from her. Something seemed wrong about her, for sure, but it was apparent neither of us knew exactly what it was.

The far off sound of a bus engine grabbed my attention. I lifted my head to scan the road, no sign of the bus yet; but it was close enough to hear.

"Natsume-kun, Ruka-pyon!" We both turned our heads, seeing the red-cheeked girl dashing towards us, holding her coat shut with one hand. She really did have impeccable timing. The bus would turn the corner any minute and she was just showing up now. Ruka stood, but I remained seated for the time being. "You're here!" She sounded surprised.

"We said we would be, didn't we?" I said flatly, flicking a blank gaze towards the dim-wit.

"Yeah...but...last time..." She trailed off, giving me a confused look. It lasted a heartbeat, before she started smiling brightly again. The bus had turned the corner and she'd begun to cheer excitedly. I noticed Ruka's small, yet amused smile and huffed, looking the other way. Why was I getting jealous again? I'd decided I wanted to hate her and I wanted her to hate me, so why did I still feel envious of Ruka? I stood slowly as the bus pulled to a stop, leaving my self-asked question without an answer.

Mikan had already begun to drag Ruka onto the yellow...thing. It wasn't your typical school bus. In fact, it looked like someone had tried to make it look cute. It looked ridiculous to me. Nevertheless, I followed the eager pair into the vehicle, taking the seat across from them. I hadn't expected someone to fill the seat so quickly, but I'd felt the extra weight crash down beside me moments after I'd turned my head to stare out the window.

"Tsubasa-kun!" Mikan shrieked happily. God no. Anyone but him, the cursed Shadow would somehow see through my nonchalant mask, as always, and mock me for my feelings towards the girl, as always, exploiting his close friendship with Mikan in order to strike envy, as always. Despite my silent prayers, Andou Tsubasa had indeed plopped down beside me. He was leaning over the edge of the seat with his feet in the isle, talking with Mikan none too quietly. I didn't feel the need to input my opinion in their conversation.

"Hey Kiddo," He said, "How's it goin'?"

"Great!" Mikan replied eagerly. "We're off to the winter festival!" You stupid girl. Why did you have to tell him that? I had no doubt he would ask if h-

"Awesome! Can I come?" For once, I wished I had been wrong. Mikan nodded enthusiastically, Ruka shrugged his shoulders. Tsubasa turned and grinned at me. So, he had known I was there "You don't mind, do ya, Natsume-kun?" I gritted my teeth and shook my head, waiting until he'd looked away to bash my head off the frosted window with a quiet growl. It was only after then did I notice the fact that he'd been watching my actions from the corner of his eye. When I was sure he'd turned around and wasn't still watching, I repeated the action. Traffic had slowed our pace, so I could clearly see the world outside the vehicle. Something shifted in the shadows of a tree, temporarily drawing my attention. It looked to almost be in the shape of a person.

"Aren't you supposed to be recovering?" I nearly jumped out of my seat at the voice that was suddenly louder than the rest of the chattering voices on the bus. Tsubasa was talking to me now, seeing as Mikan was busy leaning over Ruka in order to press her face against the window, seemingly fascinated by something outside.

"I am." I replied stiffly, tearing my eyes from the dunce of a girl in order to fix a hard glare on the middle-schooler. I wasn't exactly sure why, but he got on my nerves.

"Yeah, going out to the Festival sounds like a great way to recover!" He grinned at his words. I expected there to be sarcasm, but was rather surprised to find there was none. He was being honest, apparently. Not surprising with him, but just an interesting phrase to be honest in.

"Why are you going?" I asked, careful to keep my tone even. He shrugged, giving me a mischievous wink.

"I just felt like it was a good day to go, you know?" He said, grin widening slightly. His grin died slightly as he flicked his gaze to Ruka, who was playing chair to an enthralled Mikan. She was still gawking at the decorations and activities outside, as we were getting closer to the heart of the festival. "Besides, I've had a really bad feeling lately, kinda making me edgy." His grin returned after the few short moments of being replaced by a concerned frown. I decided not to tell him that Ruka and I shared the same feeling. If he needed to know, he'd find out on his own...somehow.

* * *

We didn't talk for what remained of the trip, which wasn't much. When we reached our stop, we clambered out of the bus in single file, Mikan in the lead, closely followed by an equally enthusiastic Tsubasa and an awed Ruka. I brought up the rear slowly, my hands in my pants pocket and eyes on the ground. I had the familiar feeling that I was being watched, and I had a decent Idea on who it was. Sighing inwardly, I ducked away from the group, disappearing into the crowd of people. I moved quickly towards an alley on the other side of the courtyard. When I was safely tucked inside it, I searched for the trio I'd left behind in the crowd. I could still see Mikan and the others; they hadn't seemed to notice my departure. Taking a breath in, I turned and walked deeper into the alley.

"I take it you're feeling much better?" I didn't turn. I didn't have to, either. I needn't see the man's face to know who he was. His voice told me exactly who would be standing behind me should I turn. So, in order to avoid having to meet the dark figure's gaze, I stood still with my eyes fixed on the ground. "Good thing, too. The doctors say you're fine to get back to work in four days." I knew that was a flat out lie, there was no way -even with special Alice assistance- I would be ready to go back into the field that fast. I didn't point this out, however. I was keeping my attitude in check, for the sake of both Ruka and Mikan. They deserved that much. "Your next mission will be similar to your last, only you'll be working with a partner." This caught my attention.

"A partner?" I echoed.

"Yes, and you'll find he'll be quite a help in your next raid. I hand picked his Alice, he's bound to satisfy." Curiosity drilled at my skull. I wanted to know who my 'partner' would be; and what his Alice would be to make him so useful.

"What is his Alice?"

"Now, Now. Natsume. It's a one of a kind Alice, and if I were to tell you it would ruin the fun of finding out for yourself." I grimaced, tempted to inform him that finding this sort of information out on my own was a lot harder than he made it sound. I didn't argue his claim, though. I turned around, keeping my gaze on the ground as I walked right by him. I held my breath as I passed him, hearing a barely audible chuckle roll in his throat. "You can go back to the festivities, if you'd like." He said, bitter sweetly. "I'm sure your friends are wondering where you've gotten off to. Better go save them the trouble of looking for you." I looked back, only then noticing the sadistic smirk plastered on his jaw. He looked more pleased with himself as usual, which was slightly unnerving.

I grunted in reply and continued on my way, keeping my eyes ahead of me to save myself from seeing that grin of his again. I was curious as to who Persona would pair with me on a mission. I usually worked alone and he usually ensured it. Why was he suddenly so keen on pairing me with someone? My stomach churned and a possible reason came to view. What if Persona had recruited Ruka or Mikan behind my back? What if this 'new partner' of mine was one of my friends, trying to help me get along in this life? Their selfless attitude was making me feel guilty. The guilt was making me angry.

I turned off the path I'd been on; the one that would've brought me to the trio had I continued. I didn't want to be around them right then, any of them. I wanted to be alone, which was no surprise, in order to sort out my thoughts and possibly piece together who of the two Persona would have recruited. Both of them would've jumped at the offer, I was sure. But which Alice would Persona choose? Against the Anti-Alice association, Mikan's Alice would be useless, or close to it. Offensively, Ruka's seemed to be the best choice.

I threw a glance over my shoulder, hoping to pick the blonde out in the crowd. Unfortunately, there was no sight of him; too many others blocked the way. I was sure by now they would've noticed I was gone. With a sigh, I lowered my head in order to keep my gaze trailed steadily on the ground as I walked. The crowd was beginning to thin as I headed away from the festivities. I'd explain the truth to Ruka if I had to, he'd understand. I'll tell Mikan I got lost form her posse and decided to stay lost. I wasn't sure if she'd understand, but I could live with her being angry at me.

In fact, I _preferred_ it.

* * *

_**Can you say, Blooper?**_

_"You're awake!"_

_"Of course I am, you stupid grill. Why would I be asleep on a park bench?_


End file.
